Colgate, Wasp Guts, and Jonah

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This . . .
I remember this old toothpaste commercial. A little boy arrives home with his Dad after a visit to the denist and announces to his mother, "Look, Mom, only two cavities!" The idea being that if you brush with Colgate you could have a great check-up too with only TWO cavities. I have had only two cavities in 55 years and one of those was in a baby tooth. Which reminds me, I am almost due for my five year check-up.
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That . . .
I was printing t-shirts yesterday and suddenly noticed a "lump" between the screen and the shirt. Turns out that just as I lowered the screen, a wasp flew inbetween and then I squeegied him to death in gold ink. I intend to charge more for that shirt because it has wasp guts on it and I figure you should pay more for golden wasp inerds pressed into your shirt.
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This is That . . .
Jonah was a prophet. Here is the message God gave to Jonah to give to the city of Nineveh,
"Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and cry out against it; for their wickedness has come up before Me." Jonah 1:2
“Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown!” Jonah 3:4
Because we know the end of the story, we know that this decree would be reversed if the people of Nineveh would repent.
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Think of God sending forth his judgement via email. He types it up,
"I will destroy Nineveh in forty days." Then he tells a prophet to go tell the people what he has in his outbox. The prophet speaks and the people listen. They respond with fasting and repentance. No water, no food, even for the livestock. God is greatly pleased with this repsonse and goes back to the outbox on his computer. Instead of pushing send, he pushes delete.
". . . and God relented from the disaster that He had said He would bring upon them, and He did not do it." Jonah 3:10
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So here we are, living in the midst of great wickedness all around. And the voice of the Lord is shouting!
Joel 2
1 Blow the trumpet in Zion, And sound an alarm in My holy mountain!
Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble;
For the day of the LORD is coming, For it is at hand:
2 A day of darkness and gloominess, A day of clouds and thick darkness,
Like the morning clouds spread over the mountains.
11 . . . For the day of the LORD is great and very terrible; Who can endure it?
12 “ Now, therefore,” says the LORD, “ Turn to Me with all your heart, With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.”
13 So rend your heart, and not your garments; Return to the LORD your God, For He is gracious and merciful, Slow to anger, and of great kindness; And He relents from doing harm.
14 Who knows if He will turn and relent, And leave a blessing behind Him—
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God has an email all typed up in his outbox, but He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness. He is waiting for his desired response . . .
16 Gather the people, Sanctify the congregation,
Assemble the elders, Gather the children and nursing babes;
Let the bridegroom go out from his chamber,
And the bride from her dressing room.
17 Let the priests, who minister to the LORD,
Weep between the porch and the altar;
Let them say, “Spare Your people, O LORD, . . .
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